Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Geekily yours, an introspection

I have a problem with saying the wrong thing. I have my husband review many of my emails before I send them out.

I think too much, especially about myself, trying to be funny so people will like me, worrying that they don't if they don't laugh. This leads to trying to be funny (and I'm not good at it), and when it's inappropriate or not-so-well received, I feel twice a fool. Even if I'm imagining a bad reception.

This means that I will abruptly shut down from a conversation, leave the room, or just not blog. I think I'm rather too terrified of not being liked.

I recently read through some of my blog entries from the previous year (trying to find the all-important entry on "blatant eggs" so I could post a link), and I like the person I seem here. So why can't I just relax and enjoy it, and believe people, like my husband, when they say that they actually like me? (A rousing chorus of "Because you think too much!" might fit here.)

In news of the flippantly geeky, I am in love with* this site. Excruciatingly and pantingly in love. Not only do you get to do challenging** logic puzzles, there's a possibility of a prize! And the prize? A book of logic puzzles, natch.

*Or, in the vernacular: I puffy heart this site. *smirk* I love that, all spelled out.

**Hard enough to feel I've accomplished something, not so difficult that I think it's impossible and give up. Also, I do them faster than Peterbird, which results in triumphant battle cries and happiness (he is patient and my battle cries are amusing).


Blogger NonnaNaz said...

(forgive the shortening of your words, i didn't want to take up too much room)

"I have a problem with saying the wrong thing...This means that I will abruptly shut down from a conversation, leave the room, or just not blog. I think I'm rather too terrified of not being liked."

Did I write this?! This is exactly how I feel about myself. But I would never in a million years have thought of you this way. I think your blog is delightful and I imagine you are too!

As for me...my solution in recent years has been to just not speak to anyone who doesn't know me really, really well. Which can be a problem when you're in a new place trying to make new friends. :/

My initial solution was a little "social lubricant." But I have since learned that while a half a glass of wine (i'm a cheap drunk) does make it easier for me to talk, it does not make me wittier, funnier or more likeable. *sigh*

Wed Nov 16, 10:39:00 AM CST  
Blogger Mimi said...

My mom and husband often tell me to "stop overthinking".

Hugs, Magda, I love who you are on this blog, and I know I love who you are off the blog too!

Wed Nov 16, 12:35:00 PM CST  
Blogger Lissa said...

Ooh! I bookmarked that sudoku page. And I understand how you feel -- I always worry that I said the wrong things and that people don't like me. I'm such an extrovert that I can't stay quiet for long, though (you know me!), and if I do force myself to be quiet then I get depressed. I haven't found a solution, but perhaps I ought to learn to like myself before I can learn to believe other people when they say they like me.

Wed Nov 16, 04:07:00 PM CST  
Blogger TeaLizzy said...

I'll join the list. I always worry what other people think about me. I'll go home and wonder whether that story was the wrong story to tell, how I could have said that, etc. Whenever I make a mistake at work or my boss gets upset I have to fight hard not to conclude I'm a terrible worker and no one will ever love me.
If you find a solution, let me know. Meanwhile...I guess I'll just share your pain. Hope it helps.

Wed Nov 16, 07:01:00 PM CST  

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