Ascesis: struggle

Of those at the St. Emmelia Orthodox Homeschooling Conference, we may have driven the farthest and I may be the most pregnant. I hope I don't come across to anyone (else) as the most complaining. I am still struggling not to compare myself unfavorably with everyone else, who seem to be able to walk (not waddle at an increasingly slower pace) and be patient with their children (mine aren't the only ones going haywire) and be pleasant to other people. I've kept myself to two minor meltdowns. (I guess not having my husband around helps because I don't know anyone else to bawl to, and he's got to take the kids to their workshops and then head to his own while I take a nap with the baby.

Maybe I just need more downtime. I missed the keynote speech for tonight, but took time to order things in our room and think about one of the workshops I'd attended (by Andrew Kern) about incarnational learning, which reaffirmed my idea that I don't necessarily need to buy a curriculum but I still need to change who I am (to become more who I am supposed to be) and how I relate to people (being more conscious of the divine image) in order to help our children learn and grow. One of the things he said was something about it being necessary to take up our kingship or queenship and shoulder that responsibility. We cannot shirk it; that's just not even an option. Since I was so tired I just wanted to throw up (I am such a wimp), that was especially hard for me to hear.

Teddy and Lucia seem to be having a blast, and Timmo enjoys himself as long as I am nearby ready to hold him as demanded. Everyone says nice things about them, which seems to be one of the nicest things about the day that I can recall. The food is excellent, and I like not having to worry about it or any dishes; also, my husband is taking care of all the laundry just about, which is wonderful. I've been having trouble sleeping due to sinus pressure, but the lovely hot showers help quite a bit. I guess I'm still not used to a more arid climate than Houston/Florida.